Tips from CARP

Tips from CARP (Canadian Association of Retired People)

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore-------under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt.'

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: 'Gosh, I remember these.'